How do I deal with haters? This is a really big question, and it can really hold people back. Here's my answer:
This question came in on my Facebook page… go over there and like that page, it’s one of the best ways to interact with me (and ask me questions.)
And please leave a comment down below. This is a big question, and it ends up holding a lot of people back. I want to hear your opinion and wisdom on this…
Michael Andreula
Jeff,
Another Great Video. “Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic.” Jean Sibelius
We invite you to hang with non hater at ReBoot Camp.
Darin Bushman
I think you might have been right in today’s day and age “no good deed (or bad one) goes un-published”. I like your solution, “ignore them”, but I think your bigger and best solution is that if your tribe loves you they will step up and defend you. I always liked what Tony Robbins has to say, “people only say to you what they actually think about themselves”, with that perspective it always helps me understand why the haters say what they say and I feel horrible that there are so many people out there that feel so bad about themselves. Most likely I think your right, it comes from not creating anything big themselves.
My $.02, thanks for the video Jeff!
Darin
Deirdre
Excellent advice — thanks, just what I needed to hear! Great location shot too — it felt like I was sitting next to you on the way up the ski slope chatting with a friend.
Mariana
Thanks for your inspiring message Jeff! I know that being critized hurts, and that’s where the power of critics comes from. It’s a free power for them. But how do we make the difference between valuable negative feedback and desagreement? It is also uncomfortable, but I guess that we should not ignore it…
Terry
My vessel is full. I’m in control of my happiness. I’ve created a big life and what the hell, I’m skiing Telluride. So who cares what some clown with a shriveled soul has to say.
Thanks Jeff.
Bryan M
AMEN Jeff !
Rex Turner
Hi Jeff,
While I absolutely agree with you on an analytical level, I still have problems trying to get around when someone smacks me in public. I get that sick feeling in my stomach. It hurts because I know in my heart I am trying my best.But I have learned to fight on anyway.
My VERY first example of this back in 2004 was when a guy wrote in to cancel a testimonial he wrote for me. He decided I was not worthy. Being my first negative customer I researched him online and found out he was in trouble with junk credit card offers and had half the planet trying to chase him down. Suddenly I realized who was this jerk to make it out like I was the bad guy? So at least I don’t bother to spend my TIME on them anymore even though crappy comments still hurt.
Thanks for the video,
Rex
cherry denison
That was fun, Jeff, I got a bit of the exhilaration of the surroundings by proxy. It was helpful too to be reminded that there will ALWAYS be some mean-minded detractors. Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. F/b to use or discard is: you say “y’know” very very often in this video, and it doesn’t I feel add anything to your presentation. Please be reassured that you come across as intelligent and worthy of respect, and you don’t need this phrase? Best of luck with your ambitions.
Wim
Hi Jeff,
You are sooo right, criticism should only be listened to when it is constructive, That is not to say that you only should listen to the good news, you should also listen to the bad as there may be something in what they are saying.
However, when you get someone who only wants to “slam” what you are doing, it should be time to just walk away as one cannot argue with someone who does not offer a valid opinion but is only envious of what you have done.
Keep up the good work – I do not often comment but thought this might be worth while as I totally agree with you.
Haters comments should be like water of a ducks back – ignore them and walk away !!
Thanks for the video Jeff.
Jeff Walker
@Wim: You make a good point about listening to constructive criticism… that’s important, and it’s more important the more successful you get.
michelle
Thanks for the reminder Jeff- You brought up some great points, and I love the the quote from Chrchill- “If you want to reach your destination you can’t stop and throw stones at every dog that barks”- Love it and it helps to keep the mindset of not getting wrapped up in someones elses uuhappy life. Stay focused on where I am going not where someone doesn’t want me to go.
Ian A
Great video Jeff! I’m impressed you were able to stay focused on topic and talk into the camera for the length of the chairlift ride. That alone is an acquired skill.
PS – looks like Telluride still has good cover, especially for May.
Ana Lucia Novak
Great video (and views). I agree with you when you said that when haters take the time to write negative comments-that they probably have nothing going for them, so dont waste your time with them. There are people in this world that seek to destroy, so in a way when someone attacks me, it inspires ne to tbring myself up a notch – Brendon Burchard calls this “leveling up”. Negative people can actually light a fire within us to be better and do good.
Carol Keers
Jeff, you rock, as always! Well played, sir! That Winston Churchill quote will go onto my wall to remember forever. Thanks for this perspective giving ride up the lift with you.
Jim Judy
As a professional movie reviewer (I prefer that term to critic that has negative connotations) I still follow the rule taught to me long ago by a playwriting professor (in a class where we’d critique each other’s creative works). And that was you never criticize the person personally. You can point out issues with with their work, but you can never attack them. The best movie reviewers love film and want ALL releases to be great and hope that their positive reviews encourage viewers to seek out the best and thus encourage studios to keep delivering quality product. As far as the haters go (I’ve had my share doing movie reviews for parents), you simply ignore them (and you never, never, never engage with them as that’s a losing battle on your end).
Yury Moskaltsov
Hi Jeff!
Thanks for great video! I wanted to ask if you have some tips on how to get qualified people that matter to you to advice you on your business and share their constructive criticism about your work?
Thanks
Yury
Valerie Young
How timely Jeff…
Just heard from a woman who was angry because she was tired of hearing about my success. She went on to say that she had no money to buy anything I had to offer. Seeing a connect there?!
If the critics are people you really can’t disown — like your family — I find it helps to remember that that sometimes the people who love you the most are the least likely to support your dreams. Why? Because they love you. And they want you to be safe. And to those who proudly live in what they think of as the Real World, entrepreneurship is just too darned risky.
Glad to be dwelling in the World of Possibility with you and all the other self-bossers. Love your take on haters and enjoy the slopes!
Valerie
Tone
Great video, Jeff! Thanks for the reminder, and thanks for the Churcill quote. Hope you enjoyed the skiing. It looked awesome!
DJ
Thank you for sharing!
Corridnac
Thanks Jeff – I’m wondering how you deal with negative feedback (even constructive, from people whose expectations are beyond what you have offered despite having tried to define what they can reasonably expect.
steve
Hi Jeff
thanks for the video. Actually I was wondering how you guys dealt with the [DELETED] article & movie in [DELTED] last year. Its something to get friends and people who are kind of discouraging you to do your thing.
But its another thing when mainstream media starts to bash out the whole model. Also more difficult to ignore as it hurts your image deeply.
To be honest, this discouraged me a bit about information-product world. Let me know what you think.
Steve
[EDITOR’S NOTE: we deleted the actual articles mentioned, no need to give the haters any exposure.]
Barry Friedman
This just in on a comment from my PL2 video: “I simply do not have time to listen to your meandering sales pitch. Write it and I’ll read it.”
That, of course, was sandwiched between two comments from people who said they have been waiting for my program to open again and are asking me when they can start.
I have a theory about people that take the time to publish comments like this. I think that deep inside they wish it was them leading a tribe.
I mean, this dude is walking stilts at kid’s festivals. I just got invited to perform at my 6th TED Conference and my program offers him the opportunity to look inside the play book of how I’ve built my career over the last 30-years. Who’s meandering?
Clearly I’m not taking it personally 🙂 Thanks, Jeff.
Sabrina
Jeff,
Thank you for sharing!Allways inspiring:)
Best
Leo
What a beautiful place and great advise.
Jay Rosenberg
Hey, Jeff,
Thanks for the lift!
Best wishes
Mónica
Jeff, what a great video! You are right: some of this critics may hold us back. My Aha moment: even people from your own family (close family) can be your detractors – with the best intentions – if you so let them. Thanks for clarifying this so well! Best, Mónica
Hannah
Just being reminded is helpful for when it again happens to me. A lot of the people with negative comments in my own life can’t dream of making their own way based on their interests. It’ s asking too much of them to see themelves as having a life that’s–as SteveCoxsey, the Blazing Core Coach puts it–a unique frontier.
Which means that anyone making their own way based on their own interests is just asking to be put in their place!
Tony
I’ve always told my clients if you aren’t pissing someone off, you aren’t marketing hard enough. There are a whole host of people looking to knock someone else down because they feel slighted in their own life. Hmm, maybe I’m not working hard enough cause I rarely have any critics??? 🙂 Anyway, your message and advice is dead on Jeff. Thanks!
Mary C Garner
Jeff,
This is certainly something that we all have to deal with and I appreciate your bringing it to our attention. To ignore sounds like the best alternative-
Blessings,
Mary
Jim Myers
Provocative, and productive. Great comments.
Jim Cardinal
Jeff
I talk and think about this topic all the time. People who create content need to get comfortable with haters and dealing with them. If you don’t have them your not hitting enough people, because there always out there. I reframe it in my mind when the show up I know I am doing something right .
There are always people who love what you do as well others who will hate it.
Great Post
Thanks
Jim
Becky
Thanks Jeff! : ) this video is GREAT inspiration for a new entrepreneur! … you know what it does? it gives me a good feeling of belonging, to community that cares.
Esther Coronel de Iberkleid
Hi Jeff: I enjoyed very much these videos in the mountain and seeing the place. Woooohoooo amazing!!!! You are so right! Makes sense to really listen to people that did it or people you know are on their way to achieve it. Still listen to someone that thinks he can give an advice when he did not walk your journey or even his fourney is not congruent at all. I expect the next video to visit Colorado from my computer. All the best!!!
Harriet Meyerson
Thanks for the video. As a fellow skier, I love the fact that you videoed this from the lift – even though it was a little noisy. It was fun to see the beautiful scenery as you imparted your words of wisdom.
My mother always said, “Take it from whom it comes.” So, if criticism comes from someone who truly wants to be helpful, that’s a good thing. When it comes from others, I agree that it’s a good thing to let it go. You can also feel sorry for the critic who doesn’t have anything more useful and productive to do.
Anton Visser
Hi Jeff, I really enjoyed the ride and the wisdom, thanks for that.
Robert Kirby
Hi Jeff
Love you comments. I can totally relate to everything you said. The more I step out , the more people get threatened. Even friends and family. So it just means we are deference makers. The haters are contracting more and more. If forces us to use them as stepping stones.
Suzanne Andrews
Very motivating and so true. Let the naysayers be your motivators. Stay strong and Prove them wrong!
Suzanne Andrews
Founder and Host of Functional Fitness, PBS TV
Keller Coleman
Great video, thanks for making it. I have dealt with haters and people who can’t stand me for the last 4 years.
The way I get through it is just keep doing what I’m doing helping people and inspiring them and, proving them wrong.
God bless you for saying this Jeff!
Ian McConnell
Great video Jeff, loved the view.
I agree with you, but after all these years I still struggle with the haters. They are usually people hating on everyone, but it can often demotivate me for hours.
Thankfully the haters are minimal and I get more positive emails which keep me going.
Cheers
Ian McConnell
Western Australia
E MacInnis
Can you delete stuff from critics and haters? I would be inclined to do that…
Heather Moll
Jeff,
I love your positive outlook. What caught my attention was when you mentioned your “tribe” of support. That is Key. It is very difficult to be a leader and creator when someone does not have a support team in place. I also agree with taking positive criticism from those who are qualified to offer it to me. Thanks again for your warm, positive words of help.
Heather Moll
Brian Duvall
Hi, Jeff.
Great content as always. Thanks for the bonus of being able to enjoy the beautiful scenery. That ski lift ride was longer than our ski season here in Virginia.
I’ll add this comment about haters & critics… always ask yourself, What’s their intent? Most of the time it’s just trolls wanting to elicit a response… to get your goat, provoke you. Ignoring them can be good unless they make false claims about you in which case you probably should set the record straight but without engaging them directly or referencing their comments. Simply state the truth and move on.
I like what you said about your fans defending you. That’s great when that happens. we Love our fans.
Cheers from Virginia…
kit batina
Substitute ‘loser ‘ for hater as in every situation in which I have been criticized , it was by a completely uninformed person – who is miserable and never even tried to realize one dream. Oh, they will say they are doing it to help you, but it is really to help themselves by bringing you down to their level so you all could be miserable together and not show them up for why they never did anything bold. When they are gone , life gets better , so the answer to what to do with them is to not have anything to do with them . And you will wonder why you waited so long.
Frank Casanova
Jeff… I’m a hater of bad audio… Hahaha. (Sorry, it was unwatchable dude)
kit batina
And – such a timely topic for me ! I literally get attacked , not just criticized, by just about everyone in my life . Correction : everyone who used to be on my life. Look at the source is all you need to do , and compare their comments to the facts . The facts speak for themselves. Loved the other comments esp. re how no one can grasp doing what you enjoy for work. Bingo ! Most people sit in a stuffy office awaiting downsizing or losing their job eventually and thus equate work with an unfortunate necessity. Never dream.of a higher consciousness of doing what you want to do and – gasp – having fun jobs . Unless you follow the herd, you get attacked …. Ever notice the heard is falling over the same cliff over and over , no matter how many herds come along ?
James Klobasa
Hey Jeff…
As always, great words… And even better sunnies. I can actually say, that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you with sunnies on. They suit well…
I mention this because I heard once that gaining trust is done by looking at someone ‘eye to eye’, something you’ve always done, hence the awesome following you have.
It was just out of the ordinary to see you like that…but I’m certainly not holding it against you. Trust built long ago… Rock on Jeff.
Thanks again and happy trails… JK 🙂
Jeff Walker
@James: yes, in general I think it’s best to avoid sunglasses. In this case, it just felt like it worked on the ski lift… and it was REALLY bright out there. We were somewhere around 10.000 feet above sea level, so the sun is intense. And with all that snow the reflections make it even more so. And, as you mentioned, I think most people on this site already know and trust me.
Phil
Hi, Jeff.
I can relate to this video post. Like your take on dealing with it I too have used a similar approach. And also not taking the Lou path is another way to filter out some of the unnecessary attention especially when it come to business processes. Thankyou for posting this video.
Ken Ca|houn
Great video, Jeff — I liked the Churchill quote, and your points are right on target. Great scenery, and smart idea for the shots, very watchable. And good practical tips on dealing w/the negatives/trolls out there. Thanks for the knowledge, good points as always from you. -k
Ivan
Great stuff,love it,one of my great friends 90 year old wise man and author of old self help classic A Touch of Greatness [www.atouchofgreatness.ca] once told me: No matter what you do,you will never be able to please everyone,but remember there will always be people out there who will love and support what you do,while others will hate it,your job is to try to spend more time with first group and much less [or no any if possible] with second group.Ivan [www.homebiztruts.info]
Keith
Hey Jeff…Great as usual. I saw you this weekend in Cali. You were great! Looking forward to putting it into place.
Monique
Has someone worked with Jeff Walker before, and what kind of results do you get from working with him or success because of his products? without having to pay so much of money that you can not afford it anymore ?
Can you tell me more about your experience , please.
I would like to ask this because, it is of course not possible for me to buy and try everything out what the world has to offer me, without getting results for trying things out, according to the system.
Thank you
Maggie Percym
Thanks so much for taking the time to reinforce such important principles. Another thing that has helped me is knowing that detractors or critics are a reflection of my inner negative self-talk, and by working on my own self-esteem, I can ‘vaporize’ the external critics, or at least reduce them significantly. The world only reflects your energy back at you. It’s not trying to hurt you–just giving you a chance to change yourself, if you wish.
Clinton
Thanks for covering this issue Jeff.
Can’t give haters too much power over you by worrying what they think. Another good point you made was when you said that as long as your making a positive impact, then there’s no point in letting those haters bring you down.
I would like to add, even if your not making a positive impact YET and you get haters, then its best to not allow them to have power over you by staying in touch with the positive impact that you have an intention to make or are working on.
Great video, I enjoyed the ski lift scenery. Thanks.
Clinton
Lisa Salisbury
Thanks for the video Jeff as always your advice rings true with life. Through the creative process and building a better life there have been those relationship changes and I have found that it is ok. I now simply obverse that this happens. We grow, we change when we create and that is what life is about when making a difference.
Lou Serrano
Hi Jeff, I love your videos. The noise on the ski lift didn’t matter, because it’s the content that has value. Someone just said you were in Cali. Were you doing a speaking engagement? I’d love to see you speak in person sometime. Anyway, your videos are inspiring me to create more content for my own blog, and for that I thank you.
Lou
Cori
Great video Jeff! (And so jealous of that looooonnnnggg chairlift…where I live in Ontario, Canada..we’d be up and down the mountain 6 times in the time it took you to get up one lift! It was we were skiing together, heading up the mountain for the next run!…lots of fun!
lol)…Such a great video for anyone putting themselves out there in any creative endeavour…business, art, writing, acting, music…whatever it may be. Take the constructive criticism, ignore the haters and move ahead with what you’re doing in life. I loved the Winston Churchill quote “If you want to reach your destination you can’t stop and throw stones at every dog that barks”…wonderful! And also “if your tribe loves you they will step up and defend you”. Putting ‘our’ work out there is for the people in our tribes…and no other. Ignore the haters and the critics…full stop. Thanks again Jeff for a fun video!
Jeff Walker
@Cori: ok, this will make you even more jealous… we shot that video in only about half of that chair lift ride. 🙂
Donald Hood
Great and timely advice. I loved the Churchill quote.
Toby
Hello Jeff,
There are patterns to the way people behave and the one I have noticed over many years about haters and destructive critics often relates to nationality.
Prior to converting my business to an online venture I traveled the world doing business in both major western nations and the most deprived of third world countries. In third world areas I found people were excited about what I was doing and were working to find some way of bettering their own economic situation. In major western countries I often came across people who could see no reason why one person should be successful without the benefits of that success being diverted to supporting their own low income existence but they were not prepared to work for it.
They are the true haters and they don’t cause me any concern. If they are not prepared to make something out of the potential life style of the western world by putting in the time and effort required then their failings are generally of their own making.
The third world people I have met and who have the will and determination to work hard are a totally different matter and I have fully supported them wherever I have been able to do so.
Toby.
Satish
Totally agree!! Ignore which is not adding or helping.
You are amazing!!
Virginia Castleman
Hi Jeff: Another great video and the tips. I think it’s also good to remind the hater to separate the person from whatever problem they’re either creating or actually addressing, and suggest that they attack the problem and not the person. I had to do that with a former supervisor, and it worked wonders. We were able to get the conversation back to what mattered, which was improving a situation, rather than swimming in the hate pool. Hope the skiing was as great as the video!
Rich Grimshaw
Great message, Jeff. Even more remarkable was the medium and setting. You deserve an award for making the most of your time: shooting an information video on the lift in between ski runs! Can you share the tech details? I’d love to know what you shot the video with and if you were using a lavaliere mic.
Tina
Whoaaa…lol…loving the view Jeff. I love the way you roll !!. Great stuff. Awesome advice…and fabulous scene! You’re so right about not giving away your power to ppl who don’t value, understand, or appreciate…’You preserve more of yourself, for the amazing breakthroughs, that resonate deeper with the grateful, than you would with those, who can’t look past their own hate! -> Awesome attracts Awesome!! -> Anything less, isn’t worth the thought…Nice one Jeff. Loving it 🙂 !
Paula M. Youmell
So right on this morning as you addresses an issue a friend and I have been dealing with around our businesses and motivation to move our message into the world. Thanks, hit home! Paula
jim ryan
This six minute video could have said the same thing in three minutes. Good content but you rambled too much.
hans
Hi Jeff, good video. Yes, it’s a good thing, although this might not be so easy, to ignore haters or trolls. Some of them are masters in provoking reactions, especially when they step on your soul. When it’s constructive criticism, that’s OK, because the moral and support is still there. It also let us measure how strong we are ourselves. The best thing is just keep going in the direction you have set out for yourself and don’t become a playground of outside forces. With friendly greetings, Hans
Joe "The Connector" Kennedy
It’s GREAT to have haters – it means you are actually doing something!
Jeff Walker
@Joe: exactly!
Joy Mo
Thank you Jeff I needed that. I just organized a free event and doubled my list size, two days later I was told by a client that someone who hates me just started a LinkedIn discussion. The nasty comments were made by people who have never attended any of my events or spent a dime on my products. One says, “she is doing all of that for money, selling her products and services is her only goal, helping others is just a mask.” Of course he forgot to mention that my blog with advice and tips is free, my ezine with helpful information is also free. They are just not happy that I’m making money from my business.
I wasn’t sure what to do, I was worried that my reputation could be damaged, but you are right, I have no control over what others say about me. I do honest work and if they don’t like it, screw them.
Jeff Walker
@Joy: those people will never be your clients… they never would have been, and they never will be. They’re not the kind of people that move forward in their lives, so they would never invest in any of your work.
John Brown
Thank Jeff for another great video. I have a hard time dealing with the haters. I had to just move on and block them from my blog.
thanks again.
Paksta
Awesome advice. I will try really hard to be successful and I will never let the detractors get in my way. Thanks!)
Kristen Strother
Wow this is really beautiful, Jeff. What a great reminder to step outside of myself and not be concerned about what the “naysayers” might say so that I can benefit my clients in the best way and make my biggest impact. If we allow people to hold us back then it is our clients and potential clients who suffer. Thank you!