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Once you know what to look for, it's easy to see this “disease” that holds people back in their business and their lives… but it can be a lot harder to see in ourselves – so is this disease holding YOU back?

Leave a comment below. I'd love to hear what you think…

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80 Replies to “Is This “Disease “Holding You Back From Success?”

  1. Hi Jeff,

    “Yeah, but…” Jeff Walker is telling me so there is a ton of credibility and experience behind it so I am going to pay uber attention and implement (test) it regardless.

    Excellent advice Jeff,

    Kal

    • Liv Baianstovu

      Reply

      Hi Jeff, thank you 🙂 that is so true 🙂 and I am so regretful of my yeah buts, and good to hear I really have the responsibility to not let those stuck there be in my surroundings – if they refuse to change asap. Great 😀

  2. I liked this, specially the part of your recommendation of introspection, to find out my own yes but areas…

  3. I have repeatedly found reasons to not follow through with online business ideas. Do I have a deep seated fear of success?

  4. Thank you for the Video Jeff! I do see that in my self when I am tired also.

    I have had to remove myself from at least one mastermind where the Yeah But disease was rampant.

    Thank you again!!!

  5. I’ll be on the lookout for my own “yeah, but” behavior this week and in the future. Great video.

  6. Hi Jeff,

    Many thanks for this GREAT message. Tips 1 and 2 were excellent, but it’s tip #3 that will truly differentiate us and make us the very best we can be.

    And now, I’m off to share your wise words (with attribution, of course!) with my community.

    Best,
    May

  7. Jeff!!! I know quite a few “yes, but” people. At first I’ve tried to convert them to see the up side, the optimistic side of opportunities…. but the negative energy can be strong! I agree with you, that those with the “yes but” disease — if incurable… have to be removed from your space. It’s the only way to keep your own energy focused and positive. It takes a lot of energy to stay on purpose, and fighting off the “yes buts” is not what you want to be doing. So Kudos! and Thanks for the affirming blog post.

    Just curious… when you and the group finally called the woman out and presented her with the fact that nothing you suggested was being received… what did she do? What happened next? Enquiring minds want to know! 🙂

  8. Beatrix Willius

    Reply

    In German we call such a person a Bedenkenträger. I’m not sure about the translation: objectionist or notorious concern raiser. And you are 100% correct, we all have that in us.

    It’s not nice to tease us with the window mirroring a surely great view.

    • @Beatrix: I wasn’t trying to tease with the reflection! The light wouldn’t have worked if we shot in the other direction… we would have been shooting into the sun.

  9. As always, Jeff, profound pearls of wisdom. Tha
    nk you so much.
    Been listening to you for a while, trying to figure out why some ideas others shared with me weren’t resonating with me……it is the ” yes buts”!

  10. I try telling myself that I am not so unique or special that nobody can figure out how to do what I do better. The Yeah, But… disease is only for something that has never, ever been tried before, and how often does that happen?

  11. Great video Jeff! I´m sure we’ve all been been guilty at one time or anothr of the “yeah, but…” disease. This has happened to me when in negative mode and didn’t realize that I was doing it until later. It’s always good to be reminded to remain aware. Thanks!

  12. Hi Jeff,

    You are so point on, this disease of “Yea, But”, is one ingredient in procrastination that akin to a perfectionist, failing to ship an idea for it spread, but instead festers negative vibes on everything. You are right take away yourself and let them be.

  13. That’s a very good point, Jeff. It’s all in the pattern. If “Yeah,but” is the stock answer then there is a problem. But heres a conundrum: some ideas can seem really good but when it comes to implementing them, they turn out to be impractical or ineffective. So it makes sense to use foresight rather than wasting time, money and energy on something like that. However, there are so many variables… It’s impossible to know for sure whether an idea will have success or not until you actually act on them…

    • I’m not convinced that all “yeah…but”s are Bad Things. Sure – the auto-response from the energy suckers, who dont need to listen to the original idea before giving their response. You dont want to be surrounded by them.

      But what about the genuine “Yeah, sure you can cross the road now…but wouldnt it be better to wait a minute until the 40 ton truck that you dont seem to have noticed passes by?”. Those people are actually trying to look out for you.

      If we have confidence in ourselves, then one or two folks who are naturally disposed to look for the minefields and ambushes that might lie ahead, might actually add to making our plans more robust.

      There are positive yeah buts, as well as negative ones. I find a process for getting the obstacles (yeah buts) out in the open, then working to remove or minimise their impact, is a great way to make the idea better.

      This shouldnt be an either/or debate. Its healthy to have both, unhealthy to have too much of either. Remember Groupthink & the Cuba Missile Crisis. No one was willing to say “yeah, but” and it nearly caused nuclear Armageddon!

  14. Hi Jeff, great video, thanks for sharing.

    “yeah, but..” is a specific stress reaction.

    It is also highly predictable who falls into that trap. I teach how to motivate people and reach them in stress. (nothing for sale here:-)

    I recommend a book from friends of mine to deal with this and other stress behavior :

    “Beyond Drama” from Nate Reagier and Jeff King

    Will change how you see such situations in the future…

    Best

    Mark

  15. Helle Justesen

    Reply

    Great advice…. And it’s true it is a buzz kill. I hate it when I find I’m that person in the group. I have a question though. How do you turn a yeah but situation a round? Let’s say someone is trying to help with good input and what they suggest is something you have already done. Is there some way of moving it forward or is it here that you just listen and ask questions about their approach?

  16. I like to “Yeah but…” the ‘yeah-butters’. When they say, “Yeah but, I don’t know what my market wants from me as a product,” for instance, then I say, “Yeah but you are never going to find out until you get something out there and gauge the response!”

    I can “Yeah but…” any negative comment with a positive counterpart. Is yeah butting a yeah butter to see the but that leads to success an art form? Yeah but, it’s worth it.

  17. Jeff, This reminds me of the example in the book, “The Magic of Thinking Big” where the author asked a group, “How might we rid America of the need for jails and prisons in the next 10 years?” The initial response is “yea, but…” but then, as they suspended their disbelief and gave reasonable consideration to this “impossible” issue, they came up with a ton of great and practical ideas. Kind of like all the everyday inventions that have come out of the space program.

  18. Great insight on how a mastermind group can and should operate as well as for life in general. Very helpful to me today as I’m in the process of developing a mastermind group. Appreciate your advice.

  19. Hi Jeff. It’s Sunday morning here and I’m masterminding my future workshop design with myself and thinking ‘Yeah But..’ So my problem is related to over thinking and talk about bringing things to a standstill. Whew. This has held me back so much it’s ridiculous. So thanks for helping me look at me. After years of actually getting nowhere, running on the treadmill, I’ve learned to quiet my mind and humble down and be more open. And ‘Why?’ Because my passion for my stuff is a heck of a lot bigger than my little ‘yeah but..’s.
    🙂

  20. I’m The person who always sees the glass half full but with your trainings such as this I’m slowly learning how to fill the glass full. Old habits die hard but I’m determined to get there. Thanks jeff you are spot on

  21. Yeah, Jeff, but …

    Just kidding. I have a “yeah, but” that goes on in my head many times during mastermind meetings, but I just tell it “Thank you for your support. Let the person speak and we can evaluate later.” 🙂

    That way I can take in all the ideas and truly evaluate them later when I’m in a more strategic frame of mind … and often I’m able to find at least a nugget of value even in the ones my Yeah But monster wanted to dismiss outright.

  22. I’ve been in so many YEAH…BUT…. situations Jeff that now I just hang out by myself. I agree with cutting the yeah butters out of your life. How about the THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE” ones as well. For a future video on your blog you can go ahead and tell them this one as it supports your yeah but story.

    Every time I’m at a function or a dinner and I get excited about a topic, I usually get to the point where I say ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Then someone always says in the group “no, not everything is possible.” I argue that it is and then the nay-sayer, will ALWAYS make-up a situation where it’s impossible to get out of. For example the last social function I was at was a wedding, I said anything is possible and I had a rather rude man argue that not everything was possible. I said it was and he came back with “well you couldn’t live in a sealed room without oxygen for more that 1 hour could you?” I had to agree which made him smile and sit back as he’d successfully proven his point. The shocking thing was that the other seven people at the table where all smiling and nodding in agreement. I tried to point out that the conversation wasn’t about coming up with impossible scenarios, it was about expanding ones mind to come up with possible solutions to a problem. Another member of the table though, now infected by his negative attitude piped up “yes but you said anything was possible and he just proved you wrong!” To which he smiled again, content in the knowledge that he had un-denying support of his viewpoint at the table. I paused, looked around the table, saw that everyone was watching to see what I could come up with next. I just sat back, smiled and said “I guess he’s right!” Even though I didn’t agree with him, I wasn’t about to waste my energy on a table of people that were all in agreement with the yeah…butter… You can’t argue with someone who agrees with you (even though on the inside I didn’t) which is why the conversation then ended. So everyone believed I was defeated (even though on the inside I wasn’t). Later on at the bar one of the quieter people at the table came up to me to offer an apology for the man’s negative behaviour since his comments had dampened the mood at the table. I told this person that I appreciated his apology but it wasn’t necessary. I told him that by agreeing with the yeah butter on the outside and ending the conversation, the table could move onto other topics of conversation. I would now have a snapshot of who was at the table and adjust my energy to match. I only reserve my excitable energy for like minded people. After the other guy “won” (in their eyes) at the table, I just talked of normal everyday topics that others can relate to, but aren’t very spectacular.

    I did thank this person for coming up to meat the bar to offer the apology since maybe this person was different from the group. Maybe I’d found an ANYTHING’S POSSIBLE guy after all but he’d been too shy to stand up for me at the table. He smiled and thanked me for my thank you, but then he pointed out that the other guy was right and that I couldn’t survive for 1 hour in an oxygen free sealed room. So basically he’d missed my whole point and was only apologizing because he thought the guy had been too obnoxious about it, right of course, but too obnoxious. I smiled knowing this poor soul had no idea what wavelength I was on and agreed with him. I then changed the subject and bought him a drink. 😉

  23. Aloha and thanks Jeff!
    I appreciated this video as it raised my awareness for myself: I am now going to pay more attention to and catch my own “yes, but-ing”! I’m going to shine the light on it and call myself out. It’s always easy to see it in someone else!

  24. Hi Jeff ! Great post and some alternate expressions I’ve found … being destructive to oneself and all around are ” I knew that already “… and the other being ” you don’t understand…” . I know over the many years it can destroy relationships! This is particularly after the individual or group has asked for my help … no matter what you do, as you say … hurts you and can often make you question yourself! Not Good as you said! Again this was a great post! Blessings you you and yours! Rick =)

  25. Yes, Jeff, this is awesome, it’s exactly what I asked for in my SurveyMonkey response from yesterday. I agree that someone with those patterns would not fit well in the Mastermind Group you are describing… and a distinction with what you said might be… they don’t fit in THAT mastermind group. There is DEFINITELY A GROUP FOR THEM… that group just may not be it.

  26. One of the principles we have learned is truths can co-exist. I certainly agree with false reservations being a death nail in the coffin of a living opportunity. Yet, some people have backgrounds in things like Amway before the government nearly shut them down for practicing illegal marketing by distributors. There issue is real and usually easy to overcome. It is not about a person being locked into being negative, it is about a person being needing some one on one. Yet, your suggesting of dealing with it publicly is awesome to shut down the negative feedback. Awesome guide to removing the buzz kill.

    I was teaching a class, years ago now, and had a student who was needy. If I were wise enough then to tell them let me give your concerns one on one attention. The compassion approach there can be turn buzz kill into a game changer for everyone. If the person is disruptive, unworkable, or another impasse then it will be easier to deal with outside the mastermind, public or other group flow.

    P.S. We have a course called “Life Vision Quest” and the last session is on Leadership. I am considering putting this either in the actual seminar session or adding it to the follow up study notes for those who become LVQ Members.

    Thanks for the reminder, vital truths and your passions!

  27. Thanks so much Jeff! I was cracking up listening to you because I have let go off some people from my personal life, but also used them as great teachers, constantly examining my own responses … being aware and alert to my own thoughts that tends to be retrieved from past experiences.

    • If I let go off all the I know but people, I’ll be a really lonely soul. I think disagreement and the I know but syndrome, is a connection problem at a personal level and it’s bias to who is presenting the idea.
      Sometime the I know but people are the people that care about you the most and they’re just trying to protect you.
      Cheers,
      Antonio

  28. Jeff! You deliver high quality content everytime, but what I admire of you the most is (1) the timing of your communications, (2) the concise short to the point deliveries, that always makes us want more, share your news, and for silent followers like me, stop and write a comment. You are a fascinating character! Thanks for all your teachings! (Fan since PLF live 2014)

  29. Yeah…..those people are doomed, for the time being anyway. And yeah we all do have some of that in ourselves.

    There’s also the “Yeah but…” apology!

  30. Thank you Jeff such perfect timing;0) My Dad use to talk about the “Yeah Buts” as energy vampires to be cautious of being or entertaining too much. As you say step away respectfully! Today would have been my Dad’s 94th Birthday. He became an angel at 83 years old. Having you message was such good timing and what I need to be reminded of Thank You!! As well feels a bit like a … Ok Papa I hear you;0)

    Warmest Regards,
    Jen

  31. Good message Jeff. And the point about personal blind spots was right on. We all have them, and the first step is just to acknowledge that. That opens the door from focusing on the 10,000 ways we think something won’t work to seeking the one way it could. Because one is all it takes.

  32. Yeah but, what about that yeah but person. I have to ask about compassion for that person, it seems a little harsh to get them out of your life. Is there some way, trick or tip to get them to understand their limiting belief and change their attitude?

  33. Great video. This gives me a very concrete way to spot negativity in myself and others. I’ll file “Yeah but..” right next to “I already know that” as words to pay careful attention to!

  34. Jeff, right on! I can most definitely be the ‘ya but’ person in my own business. So Thank YOU for calling me out. I love this!

    I came to a small group with you in Durango about a year ago, after Brendon’s HPA. It was the best, being in that small group setting at the Doubletree. Thanks for that as well. I hope to be in a group of yours again going forward.

    Go get ’em to you, and Happy Week Jeff 🙂
    Jane

  35. Jeff, great video. One of my mentors over the years taught me to respond to the “yeah, but” person with that it doesn’t have to be “either/or”; it can be “both/and”. I was just listening to a new leader this weekend sharing his new vision and he kept saying things like – “the organization has done this well, BUT we need to do it better”. For those that have been a part of the past, all they hear is the “but” and interpret this to mean “we haven’t been good enough”. Had he said “the organization has done this well AND working together we can do it even better” everyone would have been more excited be a part of the team and working to take performance to the next level. Hope this makes sense.

  36. Good reminder! I especially feel this one. As an Enneagram Six (the “Devil’s Advocate”), I can be especially good at spotting all the things that can go wrong long before anybody else. It CAN be a gift (I’m the guy you want to be with on a river trip when things go wrong, because we’ve thought of every possible plan and have all the gear to “get on it”!).

    But it can also be a curse. What I constantly work on is relaxing that attitude and simply opening to trust and “the Void”. Works miracles.

    Anyway, thanks for this post. 🙂

    ~Doug

  37. My daughters are the best ones to tell me when they notice the issue that’s my blind spot. But others as well have mentioned something and of course I have been very gracious to accept their correction. Good video.

  38. Michael Chernin

    Reply

    I recommend googling the description of the Enneagram type six. It´s called the doubter, the devil´s advocate, etc..
    If you and the person have a deeper understanding of this type of personality, it can be very valuable to have a yes, but person in your team.

  39. Oh Yeah!!! What about those people that have extraordinary abilities to slow their heart rate and breath, then being placed in a tiny cube and being immersed in water for an hour!!!

    Oh wait, everyone left three hours ago….nuts!

  40. Jeff,

    I’m laughing out loud as I was THERE and totally agree we ALL saw it and it was painful to say the least. It was SO appreciated when you were the interruption as it was a distraction. So brilliant to use it to teach a valuable lesson! You successfully took the bad taste out of my mouth with your post!

  41. Brett Rodger

    Reply

    It can become a very irritating experience watching someone stopping themselves so thoroughly if it is a chronic condition it’s disastrous, not only for them, but for those in their immediate environment, because subconsciously they will be trying to stop them as well.

    The real danger in a group setting is the possibility that this form of negative attitude can become contagious within the group and will in the end kill morale and thus the group.

  42. Great video Jeff. I actually had a yeah but reresponse in a conversation this afternoon at church. I was the one giving the response. Looking at the video tonight was a bit convicting. I am in pursuit of major changes in how I make a living so that I can escape the cubicle I’m working in and return to acting. Your video struck a nerve because it forces me to reflect on the power of negative thinking and its impact on the actions I take and their impact on my life. Yeah buts kill creative thinking that can lead to the very change I say that I want. Its something that I have to actively work on because limiting belief will keep me trapped in this job and I have to get free. Your video pushed my buttons. Thanks.

    • One last thought and that is something Albert Einstein said which is “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create. ” Yeah buts kill creative thinking and that stops progress and momentum.

  43. It’s most frustrating/amusing to witness “yeah-but” disease when talking about universal principles: people should manage their finances carefully, but we can’t because we don’t have enough….

  44. With “Yes, but . . .” you can say something like:
    ‘It seems like you’ve thought about this. So tell me what you’ve already tried and what worked and what didn’t’.

  45. Hi Jeff,

    Yeah but, can also be called stick-in-the-mud disease.

    The cure is how can I adapt this to help me now?

    Preconceived ideas don’t help us break out of the box. They should be recognized as a ball and chain right off the bat. For innovators this is the battle all around us. You have to get used to breaking windows!

  46. Great topic, Jeff! I’m sure I’ve been guilty of the ‘yea…but’ disease myself over the years. As you mentioned, we all have a tendency to. Thankfully, I have a core group of very close colleagues who will call me out if/when that happens. At the same time, several family members immediately came to mind who live the ‘yea…but’ disease and that’s a real tough one. Over the years, I’ve tried to offer alternatives for them for when those situations arise and have been received with more ‘yea…but’. I think it’s a matter of me wanting it more for them than they wanting it for themselves. As frustrating as that is, I can’t allow that toxicity into my life. So, I still love them, they’re family, but I don’t engage in their ‘yea….buts’ any longer.

  47. Hey Jeff – I can 100% GUARANTEE you that this ‘yes… but’ disease is CURABLE in every single case – no need to push anyone out of your business, mastermind or life.

    It can be a little more complex than this but here is the crux of their issues.

    As human beings we crave 6 basic needs – one of these is a need for CERTAINTY.

    Many human beings – particularly in business are naturally afraid of taking risks, losing money etc. – and that need for certainty reinforces this.

    Your ‘yeah… but’ people will most probably have taken a risk in the past at some point that didn’t pay off – meaning they have created a belief system in their mind that ‘risk is bad’ – they attach pain and negativity to taking risks.

    This is actually a false belief they have created as it wasn’t the risk that made them experience failure and pain, it was the idea they ran with.

    Now for this individual the pain of taking a risk and failing is now greater in their mind than the pain of sitting back and doing nothing – doing nothing is safer although equally as unfulfilling.

    What YOU need to do as a leader of your mastermind is make that ‘yes… but’ person feel that the pain of NOT taking a risk that might work out is GREATER than taking a risk that fails.

    They need to FOCUS on what they could be MISSING OUT on by not implementing these ideas – of course some ideas will fail, but if you implement enough different ideas to achieve your desired outcome, some WILL WORK.

    Your client needs to fear missing out on that opportunity far more than they do failing.

    Once they start to succeed with one of these ideas being given to them – you will see this ‘yes… but’ mentality eradicated.

    Hope that can help you.

    Good luck and thanks for always being awesome!

    Ross 🙂

  48. Yeah…. but,
    I thinks it’s a concept that I’ll have to pay attention in my own life…
    and yeah… but this might not be so “easy”.
    Let’s look towards that direction!
    Thanks for the tip 🙂

  49. ken ca|houn

    Reply

    hey Jeff, I hear you… here’s 2 fixes from my corporate team facilitation days:

    a) Tip #1: Communicate a brief list of rules everyone agrees to Beforehand… it helps set behavioral expectations, like “in brainstorming new ideas, acknowledge them all in a positive way, no shutting down people or negative comments allowed”… I facilitated literally several thousand people in small teams, it really helps.

    b) Tip #2: when doing seminars, hot-seats are good, also what works is have them break into small groups of 5-8 people, that way no dysfuntional yeah-buthead takes center stage, as you hear out from each group in turn, and facilitate their speaking in a fun upbeat way.

    audience management can be a challenge if you’ve got a buzzkill negative person, usually in my seminars i give a friendly warning then eject them if they’re a royal pita, for everyone else’s sake. hope that helps 🙂

  50. Jeff, perfect message today, thanks. My wife and I were just talking earlier about the ineffectiveness of dealing with someone who constantly replies to every idea with “yeah but…” It’s just not worth your time after a while.

    Conversely, I’ve been trying to be open to the opinions of my own masterminds and mentors as we prepare for our first launch. I’m transitioning from a “time for dollars” service based business to a new product, and we’re using your formula as the basis for the launch. The excitement here is pretty high.

    It would be very easy for me to say “Yeah, but…” to every different opinion I’ve gotten from a few highly respected colleagues as we move forward with this. Mostly it’s been overwhelming support, but there have been a few ideas introduced that I hadn’t considered, and one that made me think about things a little differently.

    I think sometimes the “yeah but” can be a defense mechanism. Someone hears an opinion that differs with their own belief. Or makes them feel inadequate with the path they’re already on. I’m just trying to remain open to the great ideas I’ve been getting from those around me. Thanks again for the reminder – and the book! Awesome stuff.

  51. For our Product Launch Formula 6 figure launch, we had a TON of “yeah, but…” thoughts and you know what we did? We ignored any of them that you directly taught and decided to put our faith in you. Honestly, this is not even some sales pitch for you, but yours was the first A to Z program I did not once ($1,500 two weeks before Xmas on a cold list), not a second time ($7,000 on a frugal list), but three times (6 figure launch.)

    I had to put the “PLF safety vest” on, and ignore the yeah, but’s in my head…. it was the only way it would work. Reading your book (just before my 6 figure launch but I had all my PL content done), I was in awe how many don’t listen to you, probably with their “yeah, but’s” and how they fail as a result.

    Now on “the other side”, I am even less a fan of “yeah, but” because it just holds a person back. None of us has a unique “yeah, but thought… and folks like you had them too when you built your formula or blueprint or whatever folks call theirs. I’m now coming to believe it’s a little narcissistic (and quite expensive) for us to “yeah, but” away profits.

    Great video!

    • @Elizabeth: Thank you! Congratulations! Making that kind of result is exactly why I do all this… why I’m up at 530am, at my desk, trying to get better, working on making a bigger impact. 🙂

      Thank you, thank you, thank you… for not letting those doubts stop you!

      • Thank YOU for all that you do and how much integrity you hold! I can see how your information gets abused, but as you say, if you are out of integrity you may get short term results but not those long term loyal customers. I had one person feel like my emails were “gross, long marketing typical bs” and I gently wrote back and said, “We’ve had enormous success, hand write every email and I spend every single morning to night responding personally to everyone. If you ever want to join us, you are invited.” She was clearly suffering from extreme “Yeah, but…” 🙂

  52. As that great quote of Henry Ford goes: “If you can, you can. If you can’t, you can’t. Both of them are true”. Self limiting beliefs go hand-in-hand with self-fulfilling prophecies. Thanks for posting the video, Jeff. Never does any harm to be reminded of these home truths.

  53. Thanks Jeff,
    My own big fat “yeah…but” has been the idea that I might not be able to handle it. If I take on too much my kids will suffer etc, etc. So success might me dangerous for my family – it is ridiculous when said out loud but I think it has held me back many times. From now on I’ll say: Yeah, but – if everything turns out great and I’m flooded with business I’ll have the resources to get all the support I need so that I can concentrate on doing only what is my special gift and other people can come in and help me with the other things – so that I will have quality-time with my kids. I don’t know if this makes sense but these are the thoughts that came up for me. Thanks again! Anna

  54. Wow- what a gentle reminder that you are your environment. I strive to be around positive people, and I am going to have to
    look in the mirror most often. Thank you for the challenging blog.

  55. Justus Carstens

    Reply

    Hi Jeff, as usual a valuable piece of information. I have a few “yeah but…” people in my life and having to turn them is often more difficult than stopping a rushing locomotive! But what it did for me was to determine not to be like them.
    heh… having said that, I realize there are still some “yeah but…” areas in my life! Thank you for illuminating the thought again.

    LOVE your headquarters! I might have to go there sometime!

  56. Thanks for the insight of the “yeah, buts” in my life and looking to myself as well, great and very wise advice. What a life lesson!

  57. Ouch. See myself a little in this one. I’ll have to keep a closer eye on my mindset. Thanks!

  58. The behavior you described is in a publication called “Games People Play” that was a big hit in the 1970’s and remains a good reference book. I am lucky to have inherited my father’s diverse collection.

  59. Well said Jeff,

    I know people that do it and I see it in myself too. I call it the “wall of no” and it really frustrates me when I try to help a friend and they just say no so I end up getting pretty worked up. These days I realise there isn’t much you can do except call them out and then leave them to it.

    Thanks for sharing.

  60. Jeff, you have been a life changing inspiration for me. I stumbled on your launch videos earlier this week, and I finlly have the push to stop being a wantrepreneur! Your words brought focused clarity to years worth of scattered dreams. I’m looking forward to my first launch!

  61. Thank you Jeff for helping us be our best, the best givers and best listeners we can be.

  62. Yes, the “yeah, but s” are definitely a disease. The way I deal with my own is to substitute the phrase, “Yes, and…” I’ve found that when I say that instead, I am not negating what the other person said. Instead, I’m acknowledging it, and adding to it. This trick also gets me out of the negative mode and into a positive one. Thanks for reminding us of this, Jeff.

  63. Great video Jeff! Thanks for sharing this — it has made me more aware of my
    “yeah-but” responses to things. I definitely don’t want to be THAT person! 🙂

  64. Jeff! I built an entire ministry by letting young people revamp and give feedback for just about everything. We increased the participation in our college student retreats by 1000% by listening to two 19 year olds tell us what we needed to do to fix the lax attitude of the team. We did, it worked!

    Recently, I have been trying to really move my website and spiritual direction, spiritual inspiration website to the next level. We are going to have a new roll out of a new logo and social media concept within the next month. My intern said, “you need to stop linking every post to the website. You look like an old guy who doesn’t know how to use social media and you may be an old guy, but you know how to use social media.” So, I did what he said and when I did link a post to the website or an article, the increase in traffic to the site was incredible.

    St. Benedict said, “If you want to change the monastery, do not start with the old monks. Start with the new monks.”

    Amen to that.

    Thanks,
    Mark Kurowski

  65. I notice a lot of people using this phrase as it leads them directly into their next excuse. Their life seems to always be on hold. They are never moving forward. Out of fear. Fear that they may fail. Fear that people won’t approve of them. And even sometimes fear that they may actually succeed. We have all been there before and used the “yeah but” line when we didn’t want to do something. Maybe it was out of our comfort zone, maybe it was a risk we were not ready to take. But we can move past that stage. An exercise that may help is to think of the world as your mirror. You project onto the world that which you need healing from. This healing is not always easy and takes dedication and focused hard work. It will take time and you need to be willing to change. You need to be the one wanting to be different. Nobody else can make you change. Be open to all possibilities and celebrate their unfolding when you begin to accept life more.

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