Haters Gonna Hate (Protecting Your Mental Game)

by on May 30 2015

If you’re going to make a real impact and achieve big things, at some point you’re probably going to find yourself the target of people who would rather tear someone down than build themselves up.

I’ve stopped caring what the haters say. But I wasn’t always able to do that… here’s how I learned to tune them out.

Please leave a comment below and tell me what you think…

105 Comments

  • Joe Trometer says:

    Hey Jeff,
    Right On! “If we could only all get along” 🙂
    Beware of the pessimists, those negative nillies,
    Those critics who fester themselves into, sad to say (haters).
    They probably don’t realise what they’re saying,
    Or how bad they Hurt people.
    There may be a medical term or mentally challenged condition unknown to themselves,
    I hope the best for them…
    But I learned the hard way
    (as you mentioned),
    to AVOID THEM at all cost!
    I call it “garbage in garbage out”
    just like my first computer in 1984.
    I will never finish reading a ‘hater’s’ words,
    That I can control.
    Listening or hearing those negative-nillies is that “garbage in” whom I quickly walk away from.
    Their voice can linger in my Mind,
    Sometimes for days or weeks,
    and negatively affect my positive productivity… the “garbage out”.
    With practice, over time, it became fast and easy to avoid the negative written or spoken words.

    Which is why it’s a pleasure to catch your videos each week,
    Learn your expertise in your PLF training portal,
    And how much I enjoyed PLF Live with over 600 amazing people from so many Countries.
    It’s awesome to be a PLF Owner!

    Cheers 🙂

    • Kelly says:

      Well said. Thank you sharing how it can take a bit to “forget”, aka let it go, when negative comments appear. Great response to Jeff’s video.

      This is my first year being a PLF owner and I am growing and stretching far. 🙂

    • tina houston says:

      I am so glad I came across Jeff. He is so enlightening and will be a positive influence in my success. Can’t wait to shake his hand and show him my success that he helped me achieve!

  • Jeff, you are my hero. I love to be a PLF Owner.

      • Peter says:

        I hate you!!!!
        ….Just kidding… actually you have became one of my favorite mentors online and Much of what I have set out to do is based on what you have either taught me directly or by example.

        Keep doing what you do… “haters” have their own issues… if anything we should pity most of them
        Love your work… love your example… “love” you… in a brotherly way… LOL 😉
        Peter

  • Thank you Jeff 🙂

    That’s the thoughts that I need on this day: I am in the middle of a new project. Sometime I think, I cannot do what I want because other people don’t like it . If you have always those negative people in your mind you never would do anything. In my experience, the most of thos kind are just jealousy and they cannot do it even they would try it. Such people put all their energy in jealousy and afterwards they have nothing to say or to do. I always say “this are not my clients” and I will find those peopel who want to share my ideas.
    Yes, stay away! You are so right Jeff.

  • Jorge says:

    It is true, as you grow your business you will find haters, which in most cases are jelous people. I think the best thing is to ignore them. Normally, people who don’t like you, just stop reading and watching you, whereas this haters will try to do some harm.

    Have a good day you all

  • I love this. I help people learn foreign languages – not exactly controversial, right? Except people still find a way to criticise. My big steps upwards have always come from connecting with people who are big thinkers, big action takers, and above all, big positive thinkers! Thanks for this reminder, Jeff.

  • Christine Wolf says:

    Hi Jeff,
    I recently discovered you as a person and what you are saying along my path to personal freedom and happiness. You are great and you are addressing exactly the right issues! I feel you can read my thoughts and probably you can.
    Thanks for sharing your success,
    Christine

  • Hi Jeff,
    I loved your message today! Just what I needed on this Sunday over here in Germany where I am planning my launch as an NMT healer and spiritual teacher. I have never been a people pleaser but I suppose that there were and still is some fear of haters and critics holing me back to some degree. So thanks for reminding me that all is well, even when folks don’t agree with you being successful.
    So thanks again and have a wonderful Sunday!
    Martina

  • Kevin Lewis says:

    Hi Jeff,

    Thank you for publishing this video. It is always a good reminder for those who stay true to the course and for this who may be wavering because of haters and critics. Have an awesome day and week and I look forward to your next message.

    Kevin Lewis

  • Asa Hershoff says:

    Beautifully stated… My favorite post of yours to date, as this DOES HAPPEN! Thanks for the encouragement to all, Jeff.

  • jeff says:

    Thanks Jeff. Raw nerve hit there. I’m doing better with this, but still get hit sometimes. I teach spiritual awakening so my work gets into belief systems and deep psyche areas. A few years ago I was interviewed on Buddha at the Gas Pump. I had to stop looking at the youtube video comments- lots of judgemental reaction. It hurt. Today more and more of my message, publishing and communication is directed to those for whom, as you say, I can be a hero and can truly help. Attracting naysayers has dropped off dramatically. Your PLF program taught me to do much of this! So thanks man- appreciate the support as always.

  • Jon Telcher says:

    Great video Jeff, have been following you for a while now and it’s great you have addressed this issue – something that’s not acknowledged enough.

    I’m in that area where I’ve put my life’s savings toward developing a business for myself and appreciate your insights – I’ll be a PLF customer soon – just need to get that product finished and ready to go – and the funds are quite tight so missed this current PLF round – I’ll be keen to jump on the next one and have used your emails to get into Ryan Deis’ Machine – you guys rock and are a great inspiration for me!

  • Dawood says:

    Jeff,
    Looks like u have been talking about me indirectly…..
    what yo saying is right….
    i thought it was me only who was facing such challenges…..but i’m suprised me and you we are in the same boat….
    this blogpost / video was meant for me DIRECTLY….

    Hmmmmm
    CHEERS

  • Tayo says:

    Thanks Jeff. I appreciate you

  • Lee Walker says:

    Hi Jeff , how true, in our business ( selling food at farmers produce markets ) it’s some time better not to let on how well you are doing , I really enjoyed your presentation
    Lee

  • Mitchell Alperin says:

    Good Advice. There are just some people who like to rain on other people’s parade. Break out the umbrellas and move forward!

  • Hello Jeff,

    You are so right!
    It is impossible to be liked by everybody and we should not even try to be liked by everybody!
    Thanks for your messages.
    Fabienne 🙂

  • Kristina J Mackid says:

    Hi Jeff 🙂
    I love your videos! I totally agree with you. That is what is happening to me in some ways. I am winning back a lot of lost friends from long ago. I have kept my friends from all walks of life that have been on my side before they had a clue whom I was. I have a lot of people now wanting to be good friends with me because they know whom I am by my names. There are the people that are jealous because of the work I have done is being recognized in huge ways all over the world. That has left some people feeling they deserve all I have worked for and know whom I am going to visit and be interviewed by. There are people I once liked but they don’t want anyone to see me. There are going be haters is correct. I spend my time with the people that appreciate me and are on my side. I think Jeff is awesomesause! He is the real thing.

  • Al Davis says:

    Hey, Jeff–
    Great video once again, thanks! Like I heard someone say once, “Never wrestle with a pig–he’s in his element, and you just wind up getting dirty”.
    Al

  • Right on, there will always be those who just object to you putting stuff out there, so many are just incapable of taking the first step, believing they have nothing to offer, and they hate the fact you have any self belief or the sheer ‘audacity’ to want more out of life. C’est la vie we are not responsible for their lives – as long as you are solid with what you are doing then it does not matter. Keep on rocking.

  • Sandra says:

    Great advice and perfect timing. Thank you.

  • Misti says:

    So true, Jeff!

    This is why I moved away from family & they don’t know where I am. Though I’ve been active online for over a decade, I have yet to encounter a troll worse than my family.

  • Dave says:

    Great start, Jeff. I think you had too many words for what you had to say, though, and could have completed what you said in two minutes. Then you could add a bit, mentioning that as soon as you notice the haters, the detractors stepping to take their swings, that’s a sign that you’re getting closer to your goals.
    If you actually said that last bit and I missed it, it’s probably because I drifted off from the repetition and fluff. 🙂
    Again, thanks for all the encouragement you’ve been for me. You’ve achieved much of what I’ve only dreamed about.

    • Captain Lou says:

      Dave, as someone who can be a bit verbose at times, with brevity not being my strong suit, I find your critique here of Jeff’s empowering video to be one of a….ah…..ahem…..A HATER! Just sayin.

    • David Price says:

      I didn’t notice an excess of words. It seemed to me Jeff used just the right number of words–neither too many nor too few–to say what he meant. Since no one else had your difficulty, I wonder if you might have an exceptionally short attention span.
      I myself found the video very helpful and thought-provoking.

  • Elizabeth says:

    my thoughts exactly. but it’s always nice to hear someone else say it!

  • Ricky says:

    Thank you Jeff! Synchronicity in the universe, kismet or whatever you want to call it. I needed that video right here, right now. I’ve built a solid reputable business. I have staff and the balance between paranoia and being on guard can be crushing. I spend a lot of time worrying.
    I have a question. How do you deal with the haters when they are inside your inner circle?

  • Val says:

    Great stuff Jeff! The more you grow and the better you become, the more you’ll be exposed to those who “want” what you have, but won’t do it themselves. But it’s not always about EXACTLY what you have, it can just be a reminder that THEY are not doing what they should be doing… There’s a big lesson in the human nature here, one called “significance”. We all need to feel significant, loved, treasured or special. Some people do it by becoming the best, some by building great things… Some get significance by being depressed or ill (they have a BIG problem that drives attention, of course some are depressed / ill for medical reasons). Some do it by tearing things or people down, it gives them immediate significance. It takes time and courage to build something up. But it takes a second to be an #%&#. Both feed the same need. I guess as long as people have this need for significance, there will always be those who want it NOW, and can’t do the “delayed gratification” thingy…

  • Merja says:

    Great reminder! Thank you & have an awesome day!

  • Jeff, I’ve been following you a little for some time now, and always appreciate your videos, but this one really struck a chord, so I want to thank you for your good advice. I first encountered online “haters” several years ago when I created my first web site for my feminist shamanic practice. This particular group is especially toxic and virulent, has set itself up as an “authority” regarding who can and cannot practice or teach shamanism, and is dedicated to ruining the careers of any shamans or shamanic practitioners they haven’t approved. When I took them on online, I quickly discovered the degree of harm they were causing all over the world, because others who were also being attacked by them contacted me to share their stories. Although I think my initially confronting them was helpful to others (the commentary I posted about them on my web site was even picked up and shared within the Native American shamanic community), eventually, I, too, learned that it was a waste of my time and energy to continue communicating with these people. I now do as another commentator here does: I don’t take in “hater” messages, because as soon as I recognize any message as such, I’m out of there. I stop reading and don’t respond. Words are very powerful things, and can profoundly influence us. As you say, we need to surround ourselves with those who support and encourage us, and who celebrate our accomplishments, not those who do the opposite. I’ve shared this video on my personal and shamanic Facebook pages because it speaks so eloquently to the issue of dealing with “haters” as we work towards developing and sharing our life’s work, and because I think your advice will be helpful to women in particular. I think perhaps we women can be very susceptible and sensitive to the kind of criticism you describe, because of the way we’ve been socialized, whether we’re shamans, entrepreneurs, homemakers, athletes, or trying to do well in any of the things we’re passionate about in life.

  • Ida Kiss says:

    HI Jeff, it is so true in all walks of life. When I first gathered my bravery to send my poems out to literary reviews, I felt I would die if I get a bad word back. Three review editors published my works without a word, I just got by mail copies of the publications. But when I had shown my poems to some poets, the best opinion was “it perhaps might be considered as poetry”.
    So, better listen to your inner voice, and the professionals. The competition doesn’t count.

  • Alison says:

    Remember, even Mother Teresa had haters!

  • Paula says:

    Excellent Jeff. As for haters, ‘Opinions are the cheapest commodity on earth.’ Napoleon Hill.

    Hater’s thrive on the internet, it’s their platform. Fifty percent of the folks will love you, fifty percent won’t. I work alongside a world expert on brain science, lightening in a bottle he has. Believe it or not there are those who criticize.

    A hater is the one who’ll put their hand over the mouth of Andrea Bocelli and say, ‘Do not sing because I cannot.’ Not a single person on the planet has that right.

    Step fully into your power. Do what you came to do, without apology yet with humility. The folks who resonate appear, the ones who can’t relate, fall out of your orbit. Live true to your unique gift. Let your light shine on the world .

  • Karen Warner says:

    Hi, Jeff! Thanks for the reminder that some people will seek to diminish our success no matter how good-hearted and well-intentioned we are. A cycle I find helpful when this happens IF I CAN do it: Pause. Think. Thank. Act.

    PAUSE. First, I take a 90 second PAUSE. In my 90 seconds (the amount of time your brain takes to settle down after the adrenaline rush of being attacked — see Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED Talk on this) I choose to be someone who “explores” rather than “explodes.”

    THINK. Next, I ask if there isn’t something true in the attack, some feedback I need to take in. There is almost always, in an attack, a tiny germ of feedback that I can benefit from. Then I THINK. Only I get to decide if I agree, if I need to take some action to protect myself or to improve my communication.

    THANK. Finally, I mentally (or sometimes verbally) THANK the “hater.” Super-coach Marshall Goldsmith says that the only response to feedback — even meanly intentioned feedback — is to say “thank you.” My mother says, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” This rules out a counterattack which can only catalyze more meanness and confirms the righteousness of the hater to have attacked in the first place.

    ACT. To be clear, I don’t do any of this because I believe I can change the hater. The truest thing I know is I don’t change other people, I can only change me. If I decide to take action at the end of this cycle, it can be directed to the process under attack, not the person.

    AND as we are all, thanks to you, in the TRANSFORMATION business, I also know that by doing what I do best, I will help accelerate positive change in others. There are plenty of people who desire the kind of change I help accelerate. The haters are just not among them. Thank you, Jeff! Since I discovered you, you inspire me daily!

  • Janice Greer says:

    Jeff, I loved that W.C. quote “if you stop to throw rocks at every dog that barks at you, you’ll never get where you are going” – focusing our mental energy (a precious resource!) on critics only diverts our energy, attention and focus from our real work. Jeff, I look forward to celebrating with you, in person, in the very near future. Keep the faith!!

  • ania says:

    This one was very good 🙂 thank u

  • I think the real problem is that people are sometimes so worried about the “haters” that they stop themselves from publishing anything at all. It is a scarily, open world we live in and I can understand why people are frightened to start on the entrepreneurial path.

    Great video as always!

    • Jeff Walker says:

      @Martin: Absolutely… lots of time the fear of criticism will stop people before they even get started. Which is pretty much the reason that I shot this video – to encourage people to avoid that mistake. 🙂

  • Jill Lampi says:

    Stepping up definitely involved more than a few kicks to the gut in my life! People I thought had my back. People whose back I had had for hard stuff.

    The completely unexpected joy was that there were people who stepped up and had my back that I didn’t expect, too. Once I really started stepping up and separating myself from the haters who wanted to pull me back into my box, OTHER PEOPLE in the shadows stepped in and brought me under their wing.

    Level up your life my friends. It’s worth it for your soul, your heart, and everyone around you!

  • Jill Lampi says:

    Hey Jeff… you talk about haters, but what about ‘frenemies’?

    You know, those people who didn’t have time for you when you weren’t successful, but now that your success is mounting and you’re under the wing of successful people they suddenly want to ride on your coat tails?

    (and if you let them have an opportunity in the new social circle, they continuously try to ‘one-up’ you and then wonder why you don’t invite them back)

  • Arathi Rao says:

    Hi Jeff,
    Thanks for your very inspirational video! It is right on, and just what I needed as I step out into the world helping more and more heart patients overcome their fears and get their lives back! Haters can be very hurtful, but only if we give them the power to hurt us by absorbing their venom. It is important to empower ourselves by refusing to absorb their venom.

  • Rebecca Kasowicz says:

    Thank you!

  • Mónica says:

    Hi Jeff! You just hit the nail with this great video! As someone who raised two beautiful human beings – now over 25 each – on my own while working as a sales rep for many years, then taking the next step forward and becoming a Coach – and intending to have my new coaching buz running (still learning how to) – let me tell you: I have learnt exactly what you speak of: closer people sometimes become toxic, and Oh Yeah…rejections come in all ways and sizes and sometimes they really hurt. You are right: it is healthy to develop a great self confidence and start choosing who you want to share your energy with. Even when at first this is a little bit difficult to do, time and practice are great allies. Thanks for sharing this great video! Mónica

  • Gudfolkes says:

    Hi Jeff online hate really bothers me, it’s like an epidemic. It has paralyzed me in a way, afraid to put out my stuff and be totally authentically me. But I have decided that there are people out there that really needs what I have to offer and I’m doing a disservice to myself and others by not sharing my unique gifts. So let the haters hate and I choose to communicate with compassion,honesty and love. Thanks for sharing Jeff and being you.

  • Jeff Jones says:

    Hi Jeff,

    Your videos are always so inspiring to me and obviously so many others! Realizing that not everybody in your life is going to be prepared for you stepping up, no matter how you do it, is HUGE! I know this can make the entrepreneurial or any worthwhile pursuit seem that much lonelier.

    Being able to get out of that field and making an active practice of spending less time with those that drain you is a great first start. Gets you in the right mindset to handle the haters that don’t even know you that much easier.

    Thanks for all you do!

    Jeff

  • Ann says:

    This is so true! Try to please everyone and you’ll please no one, particularly yourself!

    As my success increased some people dropped out of my life. The good news. Other more aligned people stepped in.

  • Hello Jeff,
    You have been very helpful to me in my work and you are a thoughtful conscientious man. I am grateful for your guidance. I woke up this morning with those fears on my mind as I prepare for my largest launch this fall. I will be on videos and in ads, etc. The real me will be out there and I thought about the uncomfortable people who might send their own fears in my direction. So, knowing I am not alone in this area of concern has really helped! All of us really need to become fearless in the area of our own positive expression through our work, knowing that the saddest and most hurt people are the haters and how horrid for them that must be. I feel blessed to know that I am without that in my heart.

  • Rico Marciano says:

    Jeff, amazing insight! Today’s World is overflowing with fast-food mentalities–where everyone is looking for a short-cut to fame and fortune, a quick fix or instant gratification. When they fail they blame the World for their ineptness, hate without reason and spew-out toxic, demonic venom against those who work hard, work smart and succeed. “The prisons and streets where the lonely walk are filled with these people.” ~Earl Nightingale

  • Mario Machado says:

    Outstanding, Jeff. As usual.

  • Liz Steffen says:

    Just last night I had someone leave a comment on a Facebook post criticizing me for a spelling error. Instead of fighting back I turned the situation around into a humorous one. Even though it’ still hurt my feelings I have to remember that like you said Jeff haters going to hate and just let it go. For putting myself out there with that post I have two new followers! Thanks Jeff and keep up the amazing work!

    • Kelly says:

      Gosh, I find it both frustrating and humorous at the same time when I make spelling errors that the world can AND does see.

      It always blows my mind when someone comments/sends an email with the correction(s)–yep can be more than one–funny that out of an important training/message that they OPTED to view, the biggest message they remembered was my mistake. 🙂

      Keep on making a difference, have someone else proof read if possible, and put it out there! You’re surely are not alone. Besides isn’t said that “Done beats perfekt!” Ha, and don’t get me started on autocorrect as I respond on my “smart” device. 🙂

  • Julie says:

    This is so true! Thank you for your encouraging and realistic words.

    It is worth adding that there are some sad, very lonely people in the world you don’t have anything better to do and get a huge kick out of this kind of hatred. When we understand this, we realise that it is never personal. That helps a lot 🙂

  • Thanks for the encouragement, Jeff. It’s really helpful. Haters will always do their job: to hate.

    And the best response is to simply ignore them.

  • Captain Lou says:

    Jeff, life was a lot simpler back in January of 2003 when you and I were just starting out, sitting side by side at the first Big Seminar. Ah, the old “six in seven” days. We both took action and found great success and thousands of fans. Besides producing the Marketers Cruise every year with Mike Filsaime and the world’s top marketers, plus several other life-changing “Special-Events-At-Sea”, I speak around the world, have my own products and training courses in the travel industry, several books published and more leads and business than I can sometimes handle.
    Yet, why is it that no one is a hero in their own home (or office sometimes)? And I don’t dare share all that I’m doing with old friends or neighbors. Each time that I try, I feel exactly what you just talked about. And I don’t want to drive people away, so I’ll feign humility and just shut up. How can I be sooooo popular yet feel so isolated and lonely at times?

    • Kelly says:

      You hit “the nail on the head!” Except that I didn’t buy the duct tape fast enough to keep my mouth SHUT!!

      It’s always my hope that in my sharing both success and struggles that others may be encouraged to step out and do it themselves. Sometimes it’s worked, but it’s also been what has caused some alienation by those who resent the changes (aka success) that my husband, oldest daughter and soon to be son-in-law are achieving.

    • Jeff Walker says:

      @Lou: As the saying goes… “no one is a prophet in their home town” 🙂

  • Bill says:

    Thank you, Jeff. Great message and can’t hear it too many times or too many ways. I always think of the image of the “crab pot” that Robert Kyosaki uses to describe them: when one crab tries to climb up out of the pot, instead of boosting him up and helping him climb out, the others reach up and pull him back down. So, I don’t want to be like those crabs, I want to be like Jeff. I want to climb out of the crab pot and boost the other crabs who are trying to climb out, too.

  • It helps me heal any hurt from hater remarks (and serves as a gentle reminder to me) when I interpret the line from the Lord’s prayer, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” as ” forgive me my unsolicited advice giving as I forgive those who give unsolicited advice to me.”

  • Kelly says:

    Great video–as for anyone with a keyboard…fortunately it works both ways!! What I mean by that is you have created great and life-changing works and we all can join in with that same keyboard to learn, connect and find like-minded people.

    Thank goodness for the ability to moderate many areas–it’s wonderful to read all of these supportive and kind responses. Your blog is a place of positivity and community. Thank you to you AND your team.

  • baron says:

    dear Jeff

    is it important to discuss on negative people?

    I hink it doesn’t need a video
    deos it?
    they loos there time you too

  • Christoph says:

    Hi Jeff,

    thanks so much Jeff! I recently went online with my website 9 months ago and yes, i know what you’re talking about. I look at it as a process and more and more i feel comfortable with “haters”, because it says a lot more about them then about me or what i’m doing. Thanks for sharing this video, great stuff from you as usual!

    Christoph

  • Simon Dunant says:

    Hey Jeff, another great video with a powerful message. I always understand that the negative people who don’t want to see you succeed have the right to feel that way, what they don’t have the right to do is to stop me changing someones life with my products, and services. I’m in control of whether they do that by focusing on who needs my help, the difference I can make and why I’m here to deliver my unique talent and abilities. When you focus on that, you only look for helpers not the yelpers…

    Keep up the great work Jeff!

    Cheers

    Simon

  • Jaime says:

    Thank you so, so much, Jeff! I’ve had several haters this week alone and this is so helpful! It reminds me that I have haters because I am successful! 🙂

  • Jocelyn says:

    Those who can NOT will always criticize those who can and do!!

  • Brian Fanale says:

    LOVE It Jeff, right on…

    Haters gonna hate, and those are NOT the people you want in your inner circle, business, & life. They are like a disease that will thwart you off your path to greatness and steal your energy.

    No time for any of that!

    Thanks so much for this video.

  • Jeff —

    It’s so great to be real about this. It does happen. It’s important to say it out loud. I love too the invitation to be intentional about creating our lives and choose relationships that allow us to support and celebrate each other and grow and expand together. I’m growing a new channel in my business and re-experiencing this in new ways. This video is a great reminder that each time we up the ante on how we choose to show up, this may happen, yet again.

    Thanks for the inspiration & encouragement.
    xo Meredith

  • Thank you Jeff! I am so glad you shared this. I have heard this before but not been thinking about lately. But glad you shared it.
    I know it will help me to keep going with what I beleive in despite of those that might be negative. By knowing what you shared, that this is just something that will come against me sooner or later when starting out, but by knowing this I can be better prepared, where I can learn to ignore it. And also as the Bible say, I can bless them that speak evil about me. Thanks Jeff!

  • Jeff Bell says:

    Your video above makes a great point that many of us, especially as we try to step into a larger role and have more of an impact, really need to be aware of. It is real, and if we are not mindful of how we react to the criticism can find ourselves hurt, discouraged and even shut down.

    I would like to bring up a parallel effect to be aware of: I have found that my fears of stepping into a larger and more impactful role can have almost the same effect as the more hostile and angry feedback. I find that on some level, the relationships with others that I have had for years, which in some cases are with people who are not really growing, just don’t feel as close as they used to. It is almost as if they are stagnating and staying in one place while I am growing. So the distance between us is increasing in ways that I can literally feel. This is uncomfortable, and my own fears of this effect can slow me down on my path. I don’t have a good answer for this, other than to be aware of it. And, I am finding that I also need to mindfully find and cultivate some new friends who are themselves perhaps a bit further along the path than I am, and who are consciously committed to personal growth.

  • Manuel says:

    A down to earth hero, loved your presentation

  • I liked seeing Serious Jeff this time. Didn’t mind you ‘getting real.’ The take-away for me is that the hate stuff is inevitable, and that no matter who you are, no matter how meaningful your work is, no matter how hard you’ve fought to get where you are, resistance is part of the journey. I think we all secretly believe that other people don’t have emotional obstacles, haters, roadblocks, even funky psychology to deal with. We think our own path is the twisted one, but the roads of others are straight. And yet every comment here agrees that not only are ‘haters’ lurking everywhere, but we’re ALL terrified of them. I guess moving forward will always mean leaving something/someone behind, and it’s hard. (Luckily our cats and dogs keep the faith.)

    For me, two things come to mind. One is not to ‘hate’ the ‘haters.’ Usually there’s misunderstanding on some level. And though obviously there’s no point in contending or stirring the pot, there’s no merit either in believing we’re higher on the totem pole than someone else, just because we’re working hard, taking chances, or making some money. “Go to the good,” as the Greeks always say. The second thing is something I learned decades back when I was canvassing door-to-door for the anti-nuclear movement. When I came to a door where the people didn’t support me—i.e. constantly—instead of standing there debating, or trying to convert or enlighten them, I learned (after wasting hours and hours of my time and energy) to smile, thank them for their time, and keep moving to find supporters. That’s exactly what you are saying—focus on the work at hand and the meaning of the work—and don’t worry about the rest.

    Thanks for a great post! (Now about that Mother Teresa…)

    • Jeff Walker says:

      @Wendy: You’re exactly right… don’t hate the haters. It’s not worth the energy, and each of us has areas of our lives with huge blind spots. When I come across someone who is particularly challenging (with a serious scarcity mindset), then I just give thanks that I don’t have to live inside their lives.

  • Mark says:

    Thanks for this reminder, Jeff.
    In my world, of teaching at a university, this shows up in student evaluations of teachers. You can have 28 positive reviews out of 30, but it’s those two that keep you up at night. I wasn’t prepared for the significant negative effect of this phenomenon when I first started teaching. This is a good word for all teachers/presenters as well!

  • Hello Jeff,

    Thanks for sharing this! It is so true!!! When we step out and those ‘Haters’ start coming and saying negative things, we do began to Question what we are doing. I personally needed this on-time reminder. I am walking away with 4 solid applications from this video. The main one is that “You can’t appeal to everyone”. I think we all want everyone to like us, but the truth is everyone will not. I have to know that. When they don’t just realize that they are not apart of my audience or flock that I’m called to. And it’s okay. The other is to “Guard Myself”! Everybody can’t go where I’m going. Surround myself with positive people and people that Celebrate me and not tolerate me. I already don’t like to be around negative people (or haters). But sometimes the haters are people very close to you (like family or a best friend) and that’s when it’s hard. Great Video! Thank you again!!!

  • Chad says:

    Thumbs Up.
    Shared.
    Hero.

  • James says:

    Great video Jeff.

    You are one of my heroes. Many that I have had in my life have passed on: Dr. Stephen Covey, Peter Drucker, Dr. Edwards Deming, my grandfather. These were people that were authentic and did not put a sale before their integrity. They are truly legends in my mind.

    Loving the vids. Keep it up – best to you and the team,

    James

  • “they crucified Jesus Christ” what a great reminder Jeff that we need to pursue our God-given path despite what others are saying. This is how we grow our own faith and produce fruit. I can only pray that those who are negative that cross my path will see my example. Don’t get me wrong, their words can sting, but by faith I continue on. Fortunately, they are not the judge and jury.

    Great reminder this Monday morning!

  • Kathy Leblanc says:

    Thank you Jeff. Your desire to help us others and to celebrate their wins is heart warming. I have received so much through your PLF training and a lot of it was your own essence and encouragement and vulnerability. Ithe takes a lot of courage to live big/shine your light, thanks for sharing on the reality of those who will not be there to lift humanity up and for sharing how you handle that, very encouraging. I’m grateful “the haters” didn’t stop you from sharing PLF and even more precious for me, the inspirational voice and mentor you are for myself and others. Go get em’! 😉

  • Cedric says:

    Well, live your life, be free, this is all that we want !

  • Tracy says:

    Hey Jeff,
    Thanks so much for the simple strategy – get over it and move on. I live in a small town (1000 people), and unfortunately the haters here are also at the coffee shop,…and at the post office,…etc etc. Because curse the person who has dreams bigger than a small town! lol
    My question to you is – when is it ok to remove or delete negative comments? I have operated a number of FB pages and blogs and I found the negative comments stung,…but they also changed the nature of the conversation. I have decided lately to just remove them. If it is my page,..and my platform, then I want control over how the conversation flows. I remove the trolls to let them troll elsewhere. Is that wrong? My current platform is small at 2000 followers – with hopes to grow much more. So far I have had very few negative comments on my posts, but I have happily deleted those negative comments.
    Any thoughts/feedback on that strategy?
    Thanks 🙂
    Tracy

    • Jeff Walker says:

      @Tracy: great question… I’ll have to shoot a video on it someday! You’re exactly right – if it’s your property, then you have the right to moderate as you see fit. That being said, there’s a difference between a criticism and an attack. If someone is offering legitimate criticism and it’s not a personal attack, then I’ll publish the comment.

      • Tracy says:

        In many cases it has been finding an argument for the sake of it,…rather than offering criticism. It is usually someone who wants to take offense, where there was none intended and insert their own drama. It takes the conversation in a completely different direction, and I am left thinking,…whoa!! How and the hell did that just happen?? That’s not what I said,..and that is not what I meant! It becomes a snowball effect because then people start responding to THEIR comment and all hell breaks loose. When I started deleting the comments,…it seems to keep everyone engaged in the conversation (whichever side of the topic they are) in a more relevant and meaningful manner. I have been accused of censoring,…but that felt better than some of the other comments that were made! LOL.
        Thanks for responding. It is greatly appreciated!!

        Tracy

  • Raven says:

    One thing I’d like to add is that the world is not made up into Fans and Haters. There is a large group of people who will either not like what you’re doing but not care enough to tell you about it or who are just indifferent. Also, as you mentioned in the e-mail, you also need to be able to tell the difference between “haters” and legitimate criticism. Sometimes that can be difficult. Finally, you mentioned in one of your comments about the scarcity mindset, and I know there are days when I’m way into that mindset, but it doesn’t turn me into the type of hater you’re describing (I end up focusing my hatred inwards towards myself rather than towards others who are more successful — still a problem, but a different one) AND there are also days when I’m just as far into the abundance mindset. I fluctuate quite a bit between the two, and I know I need to be in the abundance mindset more, but just because I’m in the scarcity mindset more than I like, it doesn’t mean that I’m there all the time. I guess my main point in this comment is that the world is not black and white on any level, and it takes insight to discover what to ignore and what to address, both in terms of criticism received and in terms of how you think of a particular person.

    • Jeff Walker says:

      @Raven: very well said… the world isn’t black and white. And not everyone who criticizes is a “hater”. And frankly to characterize everyone who disagrees as a hater is the first step on the path to becoming a hater.

  • Rennie says:

    Jeff, you are always such a breath of fresh air. I really appreciate your honesty and your short videos. Who you are as a sincere, down to earth, human being always shows.

  • Lisa Woeller says:

    Dear Mr. Jeff Walker, You are truly an awesome dude! Love your vid. Yes, keep doing our thang and concentrate on that only. Everything else (negative minded peeps/haters) are nothing but a distraction. And if you already get distracted easily anyways… like you know if you’re like me and have ADHD… then it could be a double distraction, so no el pay attention to negative minded peeps only da lovers. You know the nice peeps. 🙂 ~Lisa

  • Jean Kay says:

    Hi Jeff
    Thanks for all you do to inspire people to follow their dreams, You are a great inspirational speaker. One of the sayings that I have adopted in my life is “What you think of me is none of my business!” It is so true.
    I have written a poem every morning for 17 1/2 years and not every “professional” poet likes my style, but my fan club love me.
    Best regards
    Jean

  • Don Olund says:

    Spot on Jeff. It is true, every great leader making a change in the world had haters. I think (as your video indicates) you have to factor this in your business approach, so when it happens you won’t be surprised.

    I don’t know if it was mentioned in this thread, but I thought I would add something about critics. A critic or two in your inner circle is not a bad idea. They are not haters, but they have just enough of a critical bend that they can get you to look at things cheerleaders won’t. Abraham Lincoln built his Cabinet with some critics and it helped him navigate the Civil War.

    I say, ignore the haters and keep going. Critics who don’t support also do not need to be on your team. But those who can bring a healthy level of constructive criticism can be some of your most loyal supporters and respected friends.

  • Jason Weakley says:

    A Taylor Swift song I really like comes to mind here… So true, that we cannot live in the negativity of others. I have physically picked up and moved out of a town before (I won’t say which) to get away from the negative people around me. Now I not only love where I live, I have people around me in the real world as well as online who I love and who support me. It is very important to have those people in real life not just online to be a positive multiplier in our lives.

  • Thank you. Thank you. And, thank you! This video is EXACTLY what I needed to hear tonight.
    May I say it one more time?
    Thank you!
    deb

  • Durk says:

    Jeff, bless you for sharing your bits of experience and wisdom with us. The words in this video ring so true to me, you gotta hold and take care of yourself when you’re putting yourself out there, and it’s not always an easy task. I admire your courage to show up each time with sincerity and humbleness. Cheers, Durk

  • Christian says:

    Hi Jeff,

    Thanks for this video, it has a great message and will help a lot of business owners who are thinking twice about going after their dreams!

    I was once told by somebody that “if you don’t have any haters, then you aren’t playing a big enough game. Because for every person that loves you, somebody will hate you”.

    I guess it is just the balance of life – there are two sides to every story, and it is never more evident than in your business! 🙂

    Keep doing what you do best Jeff,

    Christian 🙂

  • ken ca|houn says:

    excellent points, Jeff… good Churchill quote…back in early days I’d respond to critics/flames, now I completely ignore them and use wordpress/server level IP address blocking to perma-blacklist/block the rare negativity

  • Fimen says:

    Hi Jeff ,

    I am from China. and I bought the book Product Launch Formula and love it so much…

    However I still have a Question: I am not a Millionaire, How can I teach others to became a Millionaire?

    So, I just wonder, at the very beginning, You got nothing and when you decided to start info-marketing business, by using what method you can attract the people to opt in and convert them? (at the very beginning, you are not a Millionaire!)

    THANKS
    Fimen

    DAMN, My english is struggling…

    • Jeff Walker says:

      @Fimen: here’s the short answer: you can’t teach others how to be a millionaire if you’re not already having success. You should focus on teaching something else where you already have expertise.

  • Patsie says:

    Thanks Jeff… I’ve got haters too! and proud of it 🙂 it means I’m making an impact, rocking the boats. You’re spot on… thanks for the inspiration and encouragement! You’re a champ, as always 🙂 xo

  • David says:

    Hi Jeff

    Very important message, thank you. I don’t know what it is that we so desperately want to be loved by everyone, and I mean **every*one. It’s good to grow some thick skin,… but at the same time we should be able to separate the haters from the ones that are actually trying to get some constructive criticism across. I believe there’s a thin line between the two and sometimes we misunderstand the one for the other.

    Thank you and best regards from Greece
    David

  • Janet says:

    Celebrating you Jeff! And as always terrific insights, thank you for sharing your words of wisdom and encouragement. Certainly all of us working toward playing a bigger game welcome your message. Appreciate you!

  • Erica says:

    Jeff, a friend of mine is doing VERY well getting recognized internationally for his hard work. He hasn’t been in the business for a terribly long time either. He is now being attacked in public by the haters. They are posting on social media, saying horrible things…. I just now shared this video with my friend and gave him a pep talk sharing things I’ve learned from you. Just wanted you to know that this video and what I had to share with him tonight made a huge impact on him. Your words are helping him through this difficult time. Thank you.

  • Joey L says:

    You are a great mentor Jeff, keep up the good work! Thanks again

  • Brad Lenart says:

    EVEN YOU HAVE HATERS??? BUT YOUR THE KING… SO BRENDON BURCHARD SAYS.. THANKS JEFF, I TRUST EVERYTHING YOU PUT OUT. ~ BRAD

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